This school year, we have noticed that H doesn't share with us much about her day at school. In reality, she has never been the type of child to come home from school and say, "Guess what I did today, mom?" While she was in preschool, D and I would speak to her teachers daily. We always knew what she was working on and what were her stumbling blocks. Now, in elementary school, it's left up to her to tell us, and this has been a struggle.
Let me give an example... Last week, she was on spring break. (She spent the entire week with my parents.) This Monday afternoon (her first day back from spring break) this is how the conversation went when I picked her up from school:
Me: How was your day?
H: Good
Me: Did any of your friends do anything fun and exciting over spring break?
H: Claire went to Nevada
Me: That's neat. Was she on vacation or visiting family?
H: I don't know.
(pause)
Me: Did you all talk about the rainforest today? (their current study is on rainforest)
H: No
Me: Surely Mrs. Taylor or Mrs. Woodbury said something about the rainforest today.
H: Yes, but we didn't talk about it.
Me: Well, what did they say about the rainforest?
H: They told us about a project.
Me: Really? What type of project is it?
H: A research project
Me: What are you researching?
H: I don't know.
Me: How do you not know?
H: They gave us a card with animals on it.
Me: What animal was on your card?
H: It wasn't just one.
Me: Ok, can you name one of the animals on your card?
H: (rolling her eyes at this point) Something like a spider monkey.
Me: That's neat. Did you learn any interesting facts about the spider monkey?
H: No
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
I feel like I'm a drill seargent pounding questions away at her. How do I get her to just open up and talk to me about her day? Most days, I don't drill her with questions. Some days, I just want to know about her day!!
1 comment:
Oye! And all along, I just thought she didn't like telling ME about her schoolwork. It seems like you are asking the right questions to me.
But, I might be seeing a pattern with the more open ended style when you ask them...
"What was your favorite part of the day?"
"How do you plan to make this project special? (encourage her to go beyond the requirements)"
... and then maybe there's also just the idea that you have to realize when she's not ready to talk. Maybe she's one of those that like to digest first and relax a bit. Perhaps talking at dinner about school is a better idea.
Maybe even setting up a framed conversation each night at the dinner table. Each of you take turns talking about your day and what you are responsible for as a result of your day (her project would be hers).
I'm clearly not a parent so ignore me if you like, I'm just trying to give communication strategies that I've seen effective in other situations.
Post a Comment